These are one of the few nights where it happened again. But it’s my deepest prayer that one day, it would be gone. I believe it would; This mustard seed faith that’s within me.
Recently, I often question about God’s existence when I’m feeling all the blues. Perhaps they are not just blues. The are way beyond any description. That constant heartache that’s stealing every breath away, every sleepless nights, all the joy all in life. And I wonder, whatever happened?
What happened to the happy moments in life? The times where I’m simply enjoying life? Where have they gone? Can I even remember the last time I was truly happy? Or… Those aren’t real moments of the kinda life I should be living?
So many questions huh. Curiosity kills the lil Kyla in me.
I believe everyone has gone through ups and downs in life. Some were just merely a small tiff. Yet some were big milestones that totally changed their lives. Someone once told me this, ”We are spirit beings going through a human experience.” How true. Habits are what really define a person’s character. They are easily picked up but hard to get rid off. Such changes in life would definitely make life uncomfortable. No one likes changes. Especially those that would benefit them. Sounds contradicting; Yes, humans are contradict beings as well. But doing something we don’t like yet do it anyway cause it would benefit us -Discipline.
Maybe I just needa adjust my life. Quite a bit I would say. Honestly, it’s gonna be a lot of adjustment. That’s what troubling me most. I might not make the right choices but I gotta make them right at the end of the day. A lot of patience is required. I used to be a really patient person. But my limit is running out. The engine has somehow stopped. Be it affected by people around me, things happening to me or just… me. But on second thought, God’s patience for me is limitless. So who am I to not be patience with others? Who am I not to forgive? Who am I to speak of such understanding when God chose to understand from the beginning?
Peace, courage and perseverance is what I ask for. It’s not an easy life. But neither has it gotta be difficult. It has got to be a constant reminder everyday to self. My life is not my own. I don’t own this life. God did. It’s my resposibility to preserve what God has given to me. The life I live on earth is gonna come to past. Whether I like it or not, it is gonna come to past. But one thing for sure, God never leaves nor forsake.
#You see, here’s the funny thing about humans. We complain too much. We give excuses by saying its impossible. But don’t you see that life is actually fair just by being unfair? Everyone’s given a chance. A chance to change. Perhaps we should stop blaming on not having chances when we are the ones who refuse to change. But then again, no one is perfect. With all the imperfections, we are all united by complimenting each other’s flaws. Life is just a matter of choices we make. So why worry so much. We’re not here to please nor prove. Humanity has gotta discern needs rather than wants; to love rather than control. Because no one really cares how much you know until they know how much you care. There’s so much that matters in those little things we once paid attention to. So… Whatever happened?! We all need to slow down, take a step back and stop looking around but observe and be contented with the things that you have. Stay humble, constant showing gratitude and never be judgmental. We humans took things for granted. By the time we realize it, it’s already too late. And I’m not an exception. I just gotta learn it the hard way. Age doesn’t matter as they are just numbers. That’s why I’m telling you now, don’t be absent minded nor complacent. Be at your best and let God do the rest
These are one of the few nights where it happened again.